Some people find it difficult to give money to a homeless person. You might think they are just going to go buy alcohol with it, or drugs. Christmas day for them is no different from any other day, but thankfully people do get a bit more generous at that time of year.
The very first Christmas my husband and I spent together as a married couple was quite interesting. I have never met anyone that is so generous, warm-hearted and caring about other people.
Christmas Day was upon us and he said, “I have to go out for a while.” I’m puzzled so I asked him where he was going. He said there was something he had to do and I got a little bit upset because for one, I still had trust issues with my anxieties and depression and because it was Christmas Day. Where on earth did he have to go on Christmas Day by himself, without me. (Poor me, poor me) He didn’t say anything more, he just left and came back about an hour and a half later.
I asked him if he went to see his family without me. “Don’t they like me,” I asked? Why didn’t you ask me to go? What is going on? When a person is in a constant state of anxiety and depression and always feels like no one likes them, it is a given that someone is going to have to do some explaining.
I would not leave it alone and kept asking him, in fact creating quite a tension between the two of us so he finally had to tell me. He said, “There is something I do every Christmas for the homeless. I don’t do it to get acknowledgement, my reward will be in heaven. I prefer to do it anonymously.” “What do you do for heaven’s sakes?” I asked. “I put $20 in five different envelopes and I give an envelope to anyone that looks like they are homeless, or cold or just might need something. I just hand it to whoever and tell them to keep it, buy whatever they want if they need it and if they don’t need it to pass it on.”
I was floored by this. I asked him if he wasn’t worried they would just go buy booze with it or drugs. He said, “I give them the money no questions asked, no conditions. If they choose to buy booze with it so what. If they are alone at Christmas and this is all they have, why shouldn’t they be able to have that at least on Christmas Day?”
Well that certainly changed my outlook on what Christmas was all about and made me realize what a special husband I had. I did feel rather silly for making such a big deal of him going out, but how would I know he was doing something nice for someone. It was always in my nature to automatically think something negative in those days. I have since learned to think differently, try to think of something positive instead of accusing him of doing something wrong.
As far as I know he still hands out the envelopes. He still remains anonymous, he doesn’t want me to tell people he does it. I can write it here because I am anonymous here. Now if I come across someone who is asking for money and I have a couple of bucks in my pocket I will give them some. I don’t worry about what they are going to do with it. That took some practise but it feels good, not just at Christmas, anytime.
Hope your Christmas is filled with Joy
I’m Frazzled Again.