Becoming Un-anonymous

Ha, do you know how hard that is to say?  Un-anonymous, I keep wanting to write unanimous.  Anyway, I have been thinking about dropping the whole anonymous thing.  I mean, really, my family and friends wouldn’t read my stuff anyways.  I can tone down some of the stuff I was writing about, a little less about family.  They might not take some of my posts so well, actually they probably wouldn’t believe most of it.

Speaking of believe… I’m a little worried that people in the blogging community will think my writings are not true, since I am quite different now than I ever was when I went through “The worst year of my life” times.  I still suffer with mental illness as in being depressed and from time to time, I get in the “poor me” moods, but I don’t have psychosis anymore.  It has reared it’s ugly had a couple of times in the last 25 years but I figured out what was causing it right away and got over it.  I am still on medication.  I think people in general, even the ones that know me personally do not realize I am on life-long medication for depression and anxiety.

I have no shame in the mental illness, it was just a matter of my mother hearing about what I was writing.  I’m beginning to realize the likely hood of her ever finding out is slim.  Never the less, if I do drop the anonymous thing, I will tone down my writing until after she has passed.  She could be around another 10 years.  I find it difficult staying anonymous and still feel like I’m being honest with everyone.

Since I met my husband, more than 25 years ago, I have become a different person.  I have done so many things that I never would have thought possible coming from the shy, frightened, child and teenager I was.  Anxiety I am full of, but I am also full of the knowledge that I can do anything I want to and just “deal” with the anxiety, I never get over it, I just get use to it.  It’s part of who I am.

I’m thinking maybe around my 8 week weigh in I will take a full photo to compare to the weight loss photo from Jan 1.  I might wait for the 10 or 12 week mark.  I just have to be sure I’m ready to do it.  All of you are out there showing your faces, so I can too.  I am proud of who I have become.  I use to feel so ugly, now I just don’t think about it much.  I use to hate having my photo taken during my child and teenage years and even up to 10 years ago.  I am so over that now.  All in good time, I will “show my face!”

I’m Frazzled Again.

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11 thoughts on “Becoming Un-anonymous

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  1. Hi frazzledagain, I’m just reassuring you that for me, even if you write anonymously I believe you. So please don’t be pressured if you feel more comfortable writing that way, you should stay that way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, it is more about what I am capable of doing, even though I am full of anxiety, depression. I will show the other side of me soon. Not many people know both of me. Most people know the other me and don’t know my illness.

      Liked by 1 person

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